Well, here we go again
You’ve found yourself a friend that knows you well

But no matter what you do
You’ll always feel as though you tripped and fell

So steady as she goes

I have been hopelessly obsessed with this Raconteurs song. And the surest way I have found to quash an obsession is to attempt to write about it. The exquisite appeal of a perceived masterpiece, tethered to the base expression of an amateur? Buzz kill guaranteed. So, “Steady As She Goes“:

[link]

Okay, first of all, a leading bass line is a reliable hook in the heart. In this case, the rhythm section modestly lures me in, the twang of the guitar beckons… then those whiny vocals pounce, and the trap is sprung. I love how the catchy jostle of the verse releases into the charging momentum of the chorus. Ride the wave of emotion, whee! The inevitable yearning for steadfast companionship. The nauseating dread that it will sour. Because, to review: I found myself a husband and settled down. I tried the simple life in a quiet town. Now what? Steady as she goes…

Besides all those good old-fashioned desires and delusions played out in the song, several other of my weaknesses are present and accounted for in the video. Solid Midwestern boys of a certain age. The practiced shagginess and affected moodiness of adorable musicians. The dry humor and laconic blues of Jim Jarmusch (who is responsible for wrangling the skittish cattle and claustrophobic farmhouse). So, giddy on up! But steady as she goes…

Katie Katie Katie Katie KatieKatie Katie
I can’t concentrate
THINGS WILL GET BETTER
When we’re all DEAD.

Magna Cum Loud.
Shuddup & STUDY!
πΒΦ are fat

Oregon, California’s West Virginia
California, Oregon’s Mexico

Fuck College Forever
I ♥ Studying
not

WHEREAS a new year has arrived,

WHEREAS, in the tradition of my culture, it is customary for an individual to reflect on her habits and lifestyle at the turn of the year, and to seek to align these with her goals and values,

WHEREAS I observe this tradition,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED that I will compromise less, and more. I will say “no” more, and less. I shall strive for the wisdom to know the difference.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that I will cultivate many friendships. Practice being alone. Stay single.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that I will travel way way way less than I did in 2009. Tele-trip. Stay-cation.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that I will be here now. Synchronize clocks. End the mind games. White Rabbit, Mad Hatter nonsense.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that I will stop watching Glee. Seriously, not since the “Preggers” episode where Kurt joins the football team and comes out to his dad has the show done anything for me. The admiration of many respected cultural advisers notwithstanding, Glee is hereby banished from my Hulu.com queue.

Kevin literalizes the epicurean pleasures of reading a good book
(Photo courtesy of Em)

ccde∑ ???????.k)/…π[] <–Kevin says hi

While the mesmerizing Kiwi dialect and Lily’s pluck, sweetness, and stunning green eyes have undeniable charm, they are not enough to carry the movie. If you enjoy Napoleon Dynamite, Little Miss Sunshine, Garden State, and Anderson, Wes (or P.T. circa Punch-Drunk Love), you will dig Eagle vs Shark. I did not. Harrumph.

File under “Trailer suffices, thankyouverymuch”

***

The Return of the King (”Buffy” Style)

Yeah, here at the end of nine months of seven seasons of “Buffy,” I feel myself slipping into an Andrew Wellsian state of obsessive geekdom.

Witness: above video (also available in The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers flavors! Wheeeee!)*

Witness: Once More, With Hobbits (ain’t the Internet grand?!)**

Witness: my leapity Slayer-fu in the backyard, er, under the cover of night (”‘Slayers, every one of us’…hi-YA!”)

I pause between roundhouse kicks to ponder how it would’ve been to follow the show in its day, especially toward the end of the run, those early years of the millennium when The Lord of the Rings flooded the cinema and I gave myself over to the frenzy of a full-on geek-out. No, my head would have exploded under pressure of that much more pop cultural wonder.

As with most entertainments stirring and romantic and emotional, I am loath to part with “Buffy” and left wanting more. But, hey, there’s another hellmouth in Cleveland! (Witness: “How can the public library not have the canonical Season Eight comics published by Dark Horse? I shall request they be purchased forthwith!”)

*Geekiness aside, my inner subtitles editor nerd really wants to fix the timing of the credits in these videos.

**Hilarious musical parody of a musical parody aside, I draw the line at crossover fan fiction. What insane twaddle!

Rumor has it the director has come to this neck of the woods, and indeed, folks in Eugene have the opportunity to watch La Promenade des Papillons today at the Eugene Celebration film festival during the 5 p.m. DIVA Center show (same theater that was ground zero for the Earth Day premiere!)

Lillian Lavender’s stroll is strange I can believe in. I encourage you all to check it out!

***

Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you’ve seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me because I’m interested in seeing what movies my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note – upper right hand side.)

These films are truly the first fifteen that came to mind, and quickly (in less than five minutes, thanks, no doubt, to the two shots of espresso with breakfast). Subsequently organized by era and annotated.

Age of Innocence (Kendallville)

• The Muppet Movie (1979, James Frawley). I will be first in line to purchase The Onion Store’s “I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You” shirt, should they see fit to offer it in a flattering women’s cut. (Come on, Onion, show the ladies some lovin’!)
• Labyrinth (1986, Jim Henson). As discussed in 2005.
• Poltergeist (1982, Tobe Hooper). Watched it alone, in the middle of a sunny afternoon, in the living room of some random elementary school pal, and it frightened me out of my skin. The scary TV on the scary TV perhaps marks the onset of my fascination with meta.
• Stand by Me (1986, Rob Reiner). My parents mistook it for a kids’ movie, probably because it featured cute boys. And so, during a dinner party of oblivious adults, a fellow giggly eleven-year-old and I watched it on HBO in the family room. I oohed and aahed as the f-bomb burst like fireworks in the pristine sky of my sheltered childhood. And I specifically remember hugging my friend, jumping up and down, and squealing as Gordie and Vern struggled to beat the train across the bridge. My house being third from the tracks, I had a thing about kids beating trains. (Thanks, Mom!)

The Weber’s Video–Cinema Center Years (Lagrange, Fort Wayne)

• A Clockwork Orange (1971, Stanley Kubrick). The first time through, I understood very little of what was uttered and perpetrated on-screen. One paperback copy of the Anthony Burgess novel and fifteen viewings later, I was reciting the lines along with my best droog and giving Mum hell for walking out on a screening with Dad back in the Seven-tays. As if!
• The Crying Game (1992, Neil Jordan). Oh, I know all there is to know about this one, having trekked to Fort Wayne at least half a dozen times to see it in the cinemas. It has to be a nerd girl’s version of Goodfellas or something.
• Farewell My Concubine (1993, Kaige Chen). Foreign films were a huge deal back then, a new frontier. Epic Chinese opera “homo mad love” story? Pretty much exploded my world.
• Don’t Look Now (1973, Nicolas Roeg). Another random Weber’s Video score, it features a mesmerizing sex scene and a super-creepy Little Red Riding Hood, all set against gloomy Venice.
• Annie Hall (1977, Woody Allen). Another movie that expanded my Norman Rockwell universe. (”What has the universe got to do with it? You’re here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not expanding!”)
• Wild at Heart (1990, David Lynch). Standing by his locker, the boy I had a crush on declared it his favorite movie, so I rushed to check it out. Six years later I married him. It is a deeply weird film.

College and the Great Beyond (Bologna, Berkeley, Los Angeles)

• Dead Alive (1992, Peter Jackson). Speaking of people walking out on a movie while I snicker with glee, I first saw this romantic comedy at my second home in Bologna, the Cinema Lumière. It was dubbed in Italian and billed as Splatters, gli schizzacervelli. What were they expecting?
• The Times of Harvey Milk (1984, Rob Epstein). As described here.
• The Night of the Hunter (1955, Charles Laughton). Ominous, enthralling black-and-white at the UCLA Film & Television Archive. Fun times.
• Secretary (2002, Steven Shainberg). It is difficult for me to articulate the awesomeness of this movie. I feel like Buffy would understand though.
• The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966, Sergio Leone). Westerns always had anesthetic properties similar to televised baseball or basketball or football. So boring! Until I grew up and met Sergio Leone. Seeing the Whistler’s live pre-screening performance in Glendale with Dennis and Andrew sure is memorable.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as “my life according to (band name).”

Pick Your Artist:
David Byrne & Talking Heads

Are you a male or female:
And She Was

Describe yourself:
The Lady Don’t Mind

How do you feel:
Fuzzy Freaky

Describe where you currently live:
Tiny Town

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Heaven

Your favorite form of transportation:
Dance on Vaseline

Your best friend is:
Girlfriend Is Better

You and your best friends:
Pirates
OR
Angels

What’s the weather like:
One Fine Day

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
Television Man

What is life to you:
Lifetime Piling Up

Your last relationship:
Uh-Oh, Love Comes to Town

Your fear:
Burning Down the House

What is the best advice you have to give:
Don’t Worry About the Government

Thought for the Day:
Finite=Alright